The five keys to confidence at work

Let's be clear, I am not at. And I put the team back. "Julie, brilliant Polytechnique 35 years, remembers how she had slammed after a presentation before a missed big boss. While senior executive in a big bank, she lived what psychologists call the "impostor syndrome" persuaded to usurp the place of someone else, that it would have been more appropriate. In contrast, his sister Mary, painter, flourished in his workshop, and confident of its future. Although the two young women received the same education, was a prey to doubt permanent, while the other walked with confidence. Why such a difference?

According to the Institute of Environmental Medicine (IME), the key to our behavior lies in self-esteem, which is based on three pillars. Temperament, which consists of deep motivations and preferences, is forged from 0 to 6 months: this is the basis of personality. Confidence called spontaneous asserts 
 at age 3 years, when the child begins to say "no", and reinforced at puberty. Finally, the character is built at each stage of development and experiences of the individual. Or just a lack of a failure in our development as self-esteem is fragile. Adult, specific situations - having to deal with an authority figure like a CEO, move up the ranks, negotiate a big contract ... - can bring back this vulnerability. But self-esteem is not like the color of your eyes, you can make change. Five avenues to get there.

1. Support yourself on your natural disposition 


"I want to be lab technician. But in college biology, I depressed. And the day I had to dissect a frog, I decamped. "Celine Chaubard, manager at Companeo (SME board), then shifted to a different chain, sales, where she is pursuing a successful career. "Today, she says, 
 I am responsible for a team of telemarketers. It would be a mistake to persist in seeking me when I relational fiber and flavor of challenge. "" When you go to his natural predispositions, it is unlikely to fail, "says Pascal Vancutsem, coach leaders at Coaching & Performance.

To identify yours, pay attention to your emotions. In what area do you feel act with ease and fun? If you have a strong sense of internal security is that you are in tune with your true nature. In contrast, following a path that is not his fragile. This is what happened to Julie: conforming to parental diagram of an elitist career, she has upset his taste for financial expertise and altered his opinion of herself. And when she gained a function of top management, the beautiful building is cracked. Whereas according to his artistic vocation, his sister drew on inner motivations.

You press, you also on your talents and natural facilities, whatever the guidelines of your job description. Like the contact? Use the opportunity to create a link between your employees, for example. You are inclined to support the discretion but love? Be present in case of difficulty.

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Self-esteem is tested

Self-esteem: Are you your best friend?
For each statement, several possible answers: very strongly (7 points) Strongly (5 points) Moderately (3 points) or low (1 point). Note the number of points at the end of the test it will be useful to know the test results.

Self-esteem: Are you your best friend?

You see life optimistically

You feel perfectly balanced mental

You do not take you seriously

You feel physically fit and make sure your health

You have fun and time to dress up your taste

You appreciate the compliments of your surroundings

If you give the wrong you succeed very well in general

You have a thirst for learning in many areas

Self-esteem: Are you comfortable in your life?
For each statement, several possible answers: very strongly (7 points) Strongly (5 points) Moderately (3 points) or low (1 point). Note the number of points at the end of the test it will be useful to know the test results.

Self-esteem: Are you comfortable in your life?

Are you satisfied with your current fate

You like to make decisions and stick to them

You feel no reluctance to change

You like to take risks

You know going into the unknown

You have very clear goals in your head

You dare to take initiatives without waiting drives you

Self-esteem: Are you comfortable with others?
For each statement, several possible answers: very strongly (7 points) Strongly (5 points) Moderately (3 points) or low (1 point). Note the number of points at the end of the test it will be useful to know the test results.


Self-esteem: Are you comfortable with others?

Like listening to others

You believe to be respected by others

Like you say in public

You tend to say things in front

Like talking to people even when you disagree with them

You like to look people in the eye when you talk to them

You are interested in what is positive in others

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confidence and sport

For over twenty years, there are a craze in France for martial arts. So it is a philosophy that fits through a wide variety of disciplines. The clubs are becoming more numerous and accessible to all; there are many amateur athletes and spectators. Karate and judo are the stars disciplines.

The orientations of these martial arts are conquering the well-being, relaxation and a positive return on oneself.
Karate means "empty hand", is practiced in a "dojo" or training room, "with empty hands with bad intentions." There are now 160,000 licensed in France. You can begin this practice from the age of 6 years. The moves are outlined and codified and there is no body to body. A karate uniform, lighter than judogi and, as in judo are worn, the color of the belt indicates the level of the practitioner. You must use the body's natural weapons: fists, knife hand, elbows, feet. These are the vulnerable points of the enemy that form the target.
The nine virtues of karate are: honor, loyalty, sincerity, courage, kindness, humility, honesty, respect, and finally self-control. The demonstration of kata, or imaginary battle consists of a sequence of movements, is a form of competition. The "cry that kills" or "kiai" is unifying and liberating energy.
Aikido has its share of movements to be free of obstacles (mental and muscle) and breathe deeply. Both sport agility and art of defense, aikido has dodges and against companies. As for judo, the strength of the opponent turns against itself .. Harmony, balance, concentration, decisiveness and speed of reflexes, all these qualities are required by aikido. It is necessary to warm up before training as aikido works the joints much
Judo, non-violent, was invited to the last century by Jigoro Kano, a Japanese who could not stand the fittest. It draws on the ancient techniques of the samurai and includes firms that return the power of the enemy against itself. It lists 550,000 graduates in France, 75% of children. This is a very educational sport that can be practiced at the age of twelve.
The first technique is to acquire one of the fall. The training and competitions take place on a carpet, "tatami" which cushions falls. Judogi and a belt with its level on door. The movements of judo are grouped by categories: movement of the hips, legs, shoulders, etc.. With a gradation in difficulty.
You do not cheat in judo. This is an egalitarian sport where money is not an obstacle for financial participation is minimal and the kimono is usually paid by the clubs. This discipline is very demanding and even the champions continue to train daily. It is a school of life where respect for the opponent, modesty, self-control and bravery are the basic rules.

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Overcome its complex, it's easy

If some (s) live well with their little flaws, others "are a disease." Certainly, no one is perfect, but the complexed person polarized on one of its imperfections (physical or mental), assigns all his failures (I did not have this job because I'm fat, this girl n is not out with me because of my teeth ...), and is convinced that if the defect had not existed, his life would have been considerably brighter. Causes of these often unspoken complex: a "predisposition" to perfectionism (complexed refuse to be average, lambda), upon which are grafted wounds of childhood, or adolescence, justified (demeaning nicknames classmates, remarks adult ...).
Balance, even in adulthood, and despite a rather successful life, some complex spill over into our daily lives. This woman conceal her breasts, she hates, under loose blouses, another does show that under his left profile (his right ear is "horribly" peeled)! In extreme cases, it is called "body dysmorphic disorder" (or have a phobia of deformity), which is a condition of me: if the victim has a bad image of her that she is unable to see it as it is actually.
Overcome its complex
Agree to be common:
A bit of realism: you will never make the cover of "She" or "M Magazine". Is that so bad? This prevents you from there to have a spouse, friends, children, a job that you like? No! Then agree not to be part of the great of this world, and make your mourning your dream model. And look around a bit you with insight;
Get to the point:
Do not assign all your troubles in your complex: this is an easy solution, which often prevents you see the point. You have not received your oral exam? The reason it is not to be found in the low work done (or lack of knowledge of the subject), rather than in your flat nose or your saddlebags? You focus on a detail ... but understand that others see you in your whole!
Confide:
Talk to someone you trust (best friend, spouse) of this defect you rot life, ask an honest opinion and really listen to what he responds. Consult a cosmetic surgeon who may either reassure you or tell you how to fix your imperfection radical to disgust you go under the knife and you learn to make do with what you have! If your complex you really depressed or make you terribly shy, an interview with a psychologist or psychiatrist can be very helpful.
Choose your entourage:
Often, people whose self-esteem has failed to surround evil, and seek without knowing an entourage that criticism easily. Avoid many additional suffering by choosing rather people who really love you for what you are, and do not take pleasure in you down ...
Find confidence in yourself:
You will be valued more (e) (regardless of the domain), the less you focaliserez on your kinks. Widen your areas of expertise, expand areas (professional or personal) in which you feel comfortable, progress professionally or socially, you make new friends ...

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The self-confidence of your children

The development of your child concerned. You want him to learn quickly discovers, is interested in everything and feel comfortable in front of others. In short, you secretly hope that your child is the most perfect in the world, and have confidence in him. However, by dint of over-stimulating, you may instead of digging a hole in his esteem. The advice of Dr. Gisele George, a child psychiatrist and author of "The self-confidence of your child" *.
The self-confidence of children she follows directly from the confidence of parents in their child?
Dr. Gisele George: It does not follow, the children draw on the look of confidence that parents refer to their potential ... even if they are also able to change the reference in this field. But it is so much stronger when it comes from people they trust the most.
How to show the way forward: tap into resources and face adversity as failure, violence, death of a parent?
Dr George: First, we must be honest with him, life is not a bed of roses. We must say that sometimes it will be difficult to live with at times. The parent must be able to say as his emotions: many try to hide their sadness and anguish. But it is a waste because children, as I say in my book, perfectly decode their parents. It is possible to say that one is oneself sad when a parent, one is anxious about his professional future is lost and that is why we put maybe a little too much pressure on the child.

Recognize that we have emotions, but also tell him that he can talk about his. Is there a good way to go when a small orphaned? Nobody can answer such a question. By cons, we can recognize the child's pain and allow him to speak. Do not tell him that he should forget, turn the page and it is not the only one in the world to experience such a tragedy. Better to let him cry, saying his anger ... This will allow it to heal and move forward. It is also necessary that the parent has the courage to face the distress of his child and recognize powerless to help. Be recognized and heard in his suffering helps to overcome obstacles. A child does not ask for more.

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